


Intrinsic

by nathaliacam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-06
Updated: 2013-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-03 16:08:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1072466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathaliacam/pseuds/nathaliacam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry could tell everybody what happened in that moment, again, and again, and again, because it was special.Well, it has to be, because in that moment he knew that he wanted to be with Louis for the rest of his life. He knew that Louis was his one and only.</p>
<p>Or the first kiss between Harry and Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intrinsic

**Author's Note:**

> I always wanted to write something like that, something about this situation. I really hope you enjoy, it means A LOT for me. xxx
> 
> You can find me on tumblr (larryistakingcontrol) .xx

Silence. Dark. Calm, unhurried, sleepy breaths.

And Harry awake.

His eyes looked at the ceiling, his hands crossed over his belly. He was not anxious or nervous. Still, he couldn’t sleep.

But ok. Not being able to sleep was something normal for someone like Harry. At home, he spent sleepless days and nights for a long time and suddenly, most days and nights sleeping for a long time. His sleep was unstable, almost conscious.

Moreover, unstable and conscious could be the definition of anything that relates to him and his mind.

If he was like that at home, couldn’t be different here.

Harry liked to think that his brain was a super-powerful machine. Constant and thoroughly worked throughout the time. That was positive, of course - he never needed more than a few minutes of attention to anything that the teacher spoke to take the largest of all class notes, while in school, but the crucial failure was that the powerful brain could not understand that your body couldn’t keep pace.

The cuts on his thighs and groin were proof enough.

Harry liked to think that his body one day would get tired. He liked to think that certain things happened more often (and now in the situation he was in, had the slight impression that the worst was yet to come), and that one day he would hit the wrong point of his body.

It should be comforting rather than scary.

It felt almost like home now, except that his room’s bed wasn’t the cool bed that made him feel closer to heaven (well, the sky he was still far off, but the feeling of being slightly higher made him feel less flooded). Was like if he could feel less pressure over his body from this point.

It would help if his super potent brain followed the same logic and relieved the pressure of his own thoughts.

Even being as comfortable as at home, Harry could discern crucial differences: although he lived in a relatively quiet area of the city, his early mornings had as a symphony the noise that some cars made while passing on the street the he could see looking outside his bedroom window. The sound of tires rolling against the wet ground combined with the sound of rain pounding on the window made him almost grateful for the visit of insomnia.

Here, however, was silent. There were no cars outside the window because the window wasn’t turned to the street. In fact, it seemed that there was no street. The silence there was torturing even for those who liked silence. Even for Harry.

Here, the only noise he could hear was breaths. Four other at different rates (and if he paid attention, he could differentiate each knowing exactly which belonged to whom).

He turned in bed. Sighed. Saw an arm hanging stretched out from under his bed. He smiled. Quickly separated that sound of breathing from the other ones. It was calm. So calm that didn’t seem to come from Louis.

‘Cause calm never matched Louis.

Harry felt privileged.

He thought of the other so many times that he wished that. He smiled. Thought that the coincidences of life almost left him dizzy.

But he remembered that, in fact, almost everything in life made him dizzy and his smile melted away.

He sighed and turned to lie on his stomach, his cheek was against the clear blue pillow. His eyes never left the stretched arm.

Suddenly had an impulse. Would lie with Louis.

Stopped, still sitting in his own bed, staring at nothing. If the others woke up, they’d probably find that weird.

He ran his hands through his hair. Why not? Harry didn’t know if he would get this opportunity again. After all, he never knew when it would be his last day here. If he didn’t do it this time, he’d never forgive himself. His super potent brain would have one more thing to bother him at nights.

Moreover, they were best friends. There shouldn’t be any problem.

He moved, throwing the covers aside, ignoring the ladder and jumping out of bed, landing his feet on the ground.

“Louis," he muttered, kneeling on Louis’ bed.

He did not answer.

“Louis”

“Hm?” A sleepy whisper.

“Louis " Harry repeated, knowing that Louis had not awakened.

“What?” Heard his voice low, almost inaudible.

“Can I -”

"Go to sleep”

“I can’t... Can I lie with you? "

Louis opened one eye, wondering at the question. Harry was relieved when Louis asked nothing, just pulled his body to the side, raising the sheets.

Harry smiled. He crawled into the warm bed, the covers fell on their shoulders and arms surrounded him, one leg came between his and his face was pushed against a neck that smelled of soap.

Sighed. He moved his arms around the warm body, pressed and smiled.

 

***

 

His fingers groped nothing. Dark, empty. Cold. Harry was looking for warmth, solidity. But he found nothing.

His eyes snapped open. He hadn’t realized he had slept until he was driven back to reality. Noticed that his breathing was mismatching, heavy, had a sweaty forehead and dry mouth. His eyes had difficulty to see the other pair fitting him because of the darkness and the tears that insisted to stream down his face.

"It's okay," Louis said, his eyes on his."I 'm here. "

Harry nodded and began to cry louder, sobbing. He felt his face being pushed into a neck again, and lips pressing his forehead.

“What did you dream about?”

Harry thought. The scenes of the dream escaped his memory so he opened his eyes, but he knew it was bad. He felt in his bones the anguish that the dream was over; the tears reminded him of that.

Then he just shook his head, waiting for Louis to understand that he did not remember.

Louis didn’t say anything for a long time.

And Harry kept crying for a long time.

He did not know why he was crying. Had given up long ago on trying to understand what was going on in his heart that expressed itself with crying. Stopped to find it strange when he woke up in the middle of the night with his face wet with tears that fell before he even woke up.

Now he thought it was just his super potent brain trying to warn him that it was better forgetting it.

Harry didn’t know how much time had passed since Louis had kept him there, trapped against his chest, lips pressed against his forehead, murmuring gentle words when not kissing. His tears were beginning to stop falling.

"You were calling me"

Harry jumped when Louis said a little louder.

“Was I?”

"Yes."

"I'm sorry”

"Don’t have to be" Harry could hear the sad smile in Louis’ voice. "But you were having a nightmare."

Harry nodded, “I can’t remember what was it about. "

“Maybe its better this way” Louis shrugged “There is nothing useful to remember on nightmares.”

Harry nodded, but remained silent, still crying.

“It always happens “sniffled and rubbed his face to wipe the old tears to make room for new ones.

“Nightmares?” Louis said.

“Whenever I can sleep," Harry nodded.

Louis sighed heavily and stroked Harry’s arm for a few minutes, listening to the faint cry of the other one. " Me too."

A few more minutes of silence took over the room until Harry felt Louis trying to move him, so he’d face his eyes.

"I 'm here. Okay? I 'm here for you. Will always be. "

Harry nodded, pulling his own lips to his mouth, crying.

“I will never leave you. Never” Harry nodded again, looking into his eyes as he felt Louis caressing his cheeks “I love you.”

Seemed quite right at that moment the movement of leaning toward the thin lips. It seemed perfect the way they fit together when they met, Harry’s bottom lip between Louis’ immediately, the anxious pressure of two people made for that.

Both breathed a sigh of relief at that second.

It was quiet, so slow, almost stopped. A brush here and there, the secret was never let their lips part, for nothing. After a few minutes, Harry opened his eyes with his mouth still leaning against Louis, to face two blue orbs staring at him with the same intensity. His head moved almost imperceptibly, like a request for repetition. Louis almost smiled, but did not because he preferred to take Harry's mouth again in his.

Two mouths open immediately sought immediate contact and Harry swore he felt a current pass through his body. Perfect was the adjective that screamed in his head. His hand stroked Louis’ nape as he felt the light caress of the other on his cheek.

Harry had waited _so long_ for this ... _Much_ longer than _anyone_ might think.

All he was sure of was that from then on, that was all he wanted to do. He just wanted to hug him again, kiss him again, and do it forever. Because Louis was too perfect to let go. They were too perfect to let go.

The greatest truth was that between him and Louis everything was too much _. Everything_.

And what is it if not love? That urgency, desire, feeling, touch. That was love.

And if not, he didn’t want to know what love was then.


End file.
